It is all a part of life…

At 23 years old I have made some bad decisions in my life. I am not perfect. If I was to say I was I would be lying. This weekend I decided to try out a new look. I am extremely picky with who I let cut my hair. I am very particular because of how curly my hair is. I had a few too many haircuts. I tried a new salon for my last cut and I was blown away. My hair looked amazing. The salon is also around the corner from me. So it is perfect and I can walk over you can not beat that. So I went to the salon on saturday and asked to have the under-layer of my hair lightened one or two shades I wanted a very slight difference. Just something trendy and cute.  Something like this…

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Well…My hairdresser took it upon herself to bleach my hair. (keep in mind I just got a teaching job.) I have very dark brown hair. I looked like a SKUNK! It came out this gross orange gold white color it was all different colors and it looks like crap. I pulled up my hair and I looked so ridiculous. It was not a straight layer either. She kept telling me it looked amazing I was mortified. The picture below is what it looked like wet. Once it dried it was a lot lighter and looked worse.

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I went home and I cried to my mom. She finally made me call my hairdresser back. So yesterday I went back in to the salon and asked her to dye it back to my natural color. She did..kinda. half of it is still this gross color. Thankfully my hair on top kinda hides it. I am going to wait a few days and I am going to dye it from a box. Because I really feel like crap about this decision.

This is the first thing I have really ever regretted doing to my hair. I have put my hair through hell and back in the past. So that says a lot. Maybe I was hoping for something a bit out of reach… Needless to say I will never let this lady color my hair EVER again. She does a great cut so I will go see her for that but never for something like this.

So for now I look like I have zebra stripes in my hair. Does anyone else have a hair color horror story?

This is going to be my year!

I have had a very exciting week. I went on that job interview on Friday. It went so well! The Assistant Principal was such a sweetheart! We talked and she looked over my teaching portfolio. She loved it! As I was leaving she told me I interview very well and I am on a great path. She told me candidates would hear back in about a month. Well on Monday my phone rang…I GOT THE JOB!!!! I am now a per diem substitute teacher! I can not explain how excited I am. I really did not think it was going to happen! I am sure there will be a lot of posts about my experiences being a sub.

I also went for one of the many required tests that I needed to have done for my weight loss surgery. I have a lot of different things that affect my ability to lose weight on my own one being P.C.O.S. to spare anyone the gory details I added a link. Basically my body has issues with my hormones. So once I gain weight it is kind of just stuck there. I have dieted and worked out and nothing seems to work so this is my last resort. It is a decision that I have made with the support of my family and a lot of doctors. I have been waiting for this surgery for almost 7 years. I hate the way I look and I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I have had people tell me that I am taking the easy way out but trust me there is nothing about this that is easy. I have opted for the sleeve gastrectomy They will basically be removing 80% of my stomach. I will be on a liquid diet for 3-4 weeks before surgery. After surgery I will be on a liquid diet for about 6 weeks then I can start introducing foods back into my body little by little. There are things I will have to avoid for the rest of my life. However I am extremely optimistic about it all!

I had my first test on Monday. It was psych evaluation I was so nervous because I hate having to talk about my feelings but my doctor was fabulous and made me feel really comfortable! Before I left he told me it is going to be my year. So I am going to keep this positive attitude going….THIS IS MY YEAR!

****Just a little note for everyone….I have an instagram account now check it out! (@babblingdani) I am also on twitter @BabblingDani***

So much to do….

So I am applying to grad school. This is a HUGE step for me…

For a long time I was toying with the idea of grad school. Did I really want to throw myself back into school and gather more debt? Do I really want to sit in a stuffy classroom listening to a professor who assumes that their view on a topic is the only correct view. I think mostly I was petrified of going back so I was throwing my anxiety onto something else. I do want to continue my education and I want to help change the lives of kids. I want to be better for myself. I also want to get back to doing work before I forget how much work goes into school… I may already be on that path a year out of school has made me seem so lazy. I was mostly putting off all of this because I was unsure of what I wanted to study.

One possibility was going for higher education and student affairs. Mostly because I loved my leadership roles while I was in college. It was such a different experience for me to work with incoming college freshman instead of little kids (although I learned that parents are the same no matter how old their kid is….).I am not completely going to forget about this it is something to fall back on and possibly turn to later in life.

The second was education (my bachelors is in education) Everything with common core curriculum kind of turned me off from education for a while. The idea of testing kids so much is disgusting. There is no flexibility or fun left in school. Teachers do not get tobe as creative and do not have the freedom to make a student love learning anymore. It is so horrible! However, the more I played with my options I realized I can play with these ideas a bit more. I can make learning fun. It is all about what the teacher does with the strict standards that are common core. A teacher can make it fun and play with different ideas. Maybe that is why I need to become a teacher. I need to help ensure that kids still love to learn.

So I have officially sent in an application for  a masters in special ed/childhood ed. I have to write my personal statement still but that will come together in time! I am crossing my fingers that everything works out!

I also got a phone call today. I am interviewing on Monday to be a sub! FINALLY a job offer!  (the best part was I did not even apply word of mouth got them my info!) So I am extremely nervous! This is such a great opportunity! Especially with grad school…I could work during the day and go to school at night. It would be a perfect situation.

Cross your fingers for me everyone!

The future scares me…

So tonight I went out to dinner with my mom and my 15 year old sister. As we are sitting in applebees I hear a conversation from the table behind me. There was a young boy (about 11 or 12) talking to his parents. They were talking about what they did during the day when suddenly a part of me died.

I got a HUGE slap in the face about how technology has changed childhood. The little boy told his parents that he had just watched a really weird movie called Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets have you ever heard of it? Both parents said no….My heart started to pound and I got sweaty. I think I may have had a small heart attack… I know I grew up during the height of Potter-Mania but to think that these kids had never heard of it is crazy!

Am I the only one who has ever experienced something like this? I am still in shock!

Post Grad Struggles

Well, where do I begin? I graduated college in May 2013 with a B.S. In Childhood and Early Childhood Education and a concentration in English. After 5 amazing years of living in the most amazing little town in the world (New Paltz, NY) I packed my bags and moved back home to live with mom.

When I went away to school everything was very different. I left my Mom, Dad, and 2 sisters at home. My parents got divorced while I was in college. It was the best thing to happen to the girls of my family! My Dad is a horrible person and I will leave it at that. When I moved back after graduation I moved into a nut house.  My uncle is going through a divorce so he moved in.He has 2 young sons and they stay with us every other weekend. My sister and her now husband lived with us! She was pregnant when I moved home. (HOLY HORMONES!)–as if we did not fight enough before pregnancy.  And then there was my mom and youngest sister. My house was NUTS and still is. My sister and her husband moved out but there are still way too many people in this house!

I had been applying to jobs for months before I moved home with no luck. No one wanted me I was either over qualified or under qualified for everything. Luckily I am still covered by my mom’s health insurance for 2 more years. I have turned to being a Nanny to my 6 month old niece. I watch her at my house five days a week. I am not making nearly enough money but at least I have a form of income.

Having a teaching degree in New York right now seems like a waste of my time. There is not a single job out there. I just keep reminding myself to keep my head up and hope that the economy turns around soon!

While I wait for a job  I have to find something to cover expenses. My college loans cost me about $500 a month because I paid for college entirely on my own. (Working on lowering the payments currently) That does not include any other expenses and does not leave me much in the way of a savings. My social life is almost non existent because of this lack of money but I am okay with that.  I still get out often enough to see my friends and enjoy being a 20-something Everything will turn around soon enough.

I have to remind myself it could be worse. I am lucky. I have an awesome family. They support me. I realize how lucky I am and I dont know how I would do this without them.